The Great Berry Conspiracy
by Lea Benoit
Summary: HP/DM. Professor McGonagall has bewitched the mistletoe. Oneshot! Warnings for general silliness.


**A/N (UPDATE): **Fixed the formatting issues! Sorry about that...

* * *

><p>"Hermione! Harry– he's–" Ron Weasley was pelting across the great hall, robes flying around him as he raced towards her. He had a handful of leaves clutched tightly in his left hand, wand in the other, face flushed as dark as his hair. He skidded to a halt at the end of the Gryffindor table, facing Hermione as he tried to catch his breath, sputtering.<p>

She placed her hands on his shoulders to steady him, looking up worriedly. "What's wrong?" Ron held out the leaves to her wordlessly and she took one to examine in the light. As realisation hit, she looked at him in horror and Ron nodded slowly. Hermione breathed deeply, held out her hand. He stared at her in disbelief.

Offering him a weak smile, she sighs in exasperation. "Go on, then, take me there." Ron groaned and grabbed her outstretched hand, pulling her out of the great hall and off to rescue their best friend.

* * *

><p>Harry wished the floor would swallow him up and be done with it. He tugged again at his feet, ignoring Peeves' cackling as he swept by (<em>"<em>_Wee __Potty__'__s __gone__ dotty!__"_) Jumping slightly, he glared at the gingerbread men jabbing him with their spears and leaned down to swipe at them as they backed out of reach, sticking their gummy tongues out at him. He moved his gaze up to the giggling Ravenclaw girls watching him, batting their eyelashes and whispering to each other behind their hands.

He rolled his eyes and shifted uncomfortably, warily watching the crowd that was steadily forming around him. He crossed his arms, pulled his scarf in tighter and glanced upwards at the dastardly white berries hanging right above him, pinning him to the spot. Closing his eyes, he rested his head against the archway and rubbed his temples slowly, willing the berries to _go __away_.

Another girl tried to press a kiss to the side of his face and he flinched away, trying to take a step and shrugging apologetically at her. Her cheeks coloured as her friends ushered her away and Harry tried to block out the sounds of accusing whispers and soft gasps, brow creasing as he waited for Ron–

"Harry!" He exhaled in relief, turning to face his friends approaching and pushing himself off the wall.

Hermione looked anxiously at the mistletoe overhead. "I told Professor McGonagall this was a bad idea," she said, shooting an accusing glare at Ron. "But _someone_ had his brothers set up these traps all over the school." She briskly set to work trying to free him, casting spells and forcibly trying to yank him from his spot.

Harry grabbed hold of her and held her at an arm's length. "'Mione, I'm fine," he assured her. He took a deep breath before continuing. "I need you to get someone for me, alright?" Her eyes lit up in recognition and she nodded vigorously. She turned to Ron. "Ginny's in the common room?" she asked tentatively.

"Hermione, I meant–" Harry was cut off by an affirmative nod from Ron, who was already being dragged back down the corridor towards the staircase. He put his head in his hands and tried to take deep breaths, counting to ten. Backwards. In spanish.

Ron called back to him, "We'll be back soon, mate!" Harry waved back resignedly.

* * *

><p>"Ginny!"<p>

She looked up, startled to see her brother and his girlfriend panting as they climbed through the portrait hole. They came to stand in front of her and Hermione immediately launched into her explanation, trying to haul her to her feet as she did so.

"Harry's in trouble, you've got to come, let's go–"

She continued to look at them quizzically as Hermione continued, setting her book aside and folding her hands in her lap. She was rather confused, really– she'd just seen him in the corridor on the way to breakfast, what could be wrong with Voldemort dead and Death Eaters in prison?

"– and now he's stuck and you're the only one who can help him–" Hermione babbled on until Ginny put a hand up to stop her and stood, grabbing her wand off the table. Ron and Hermione visibly calmed and were silent.

"All right. Where is he?"

* * *

><p>Whatever Ron and Hermione were expecting, it wasn't that Ginny would start laughing the moment she saw Harry pinned to the floor in the archway.<p>

"Shut up!" Harry hissed at her as she clutched the wall for support. He blushed furiously as she continued shaking with mirth, wiping tears from her eyes and muttering nothings like "_oh, __this__ is_ precious_!__" _He tried to shake her out of it but she only laughed harder and most unapologetically.

Hermione coughed dangerously and Ginny sobered, looking Harry in the eye. "You're sure you want to come out like this?" She was grinning again and Harry groaned at the glint of amusement in her eyes.

"C'mon, mate, everyone already knows both of you have been going at it since the war ended," Ron smiled knowingly, piping up from behind Hermione. Ginny muffled her renewed laughter with her scarf and Harry scowled. She made a huge dramatic show of planting a wet kiss on his cheek and pulling him towards her, gasping in mock surprise as he didn't budge an inch.

The crowd went deathly silent.

"My, my, Harry," Ginny admonished, winking at him. "The secret's out!" She looked up at the mistletoe and then back to him again, smile annoyingly wide. The cat had caught the canary. "You knew it would happen sooner or later," she said, shrugging indifferently. "Perhaps you need M–"

"Harry?" Hermione's voice was strained. He looked over Ginny's shoulder, mouthing _I__ tried __to __tell__ you_ as she blushed. Ron was gripping her hand tightly, looking very pale as he regarded his sister, fighting his internal battle.

Harry glared at Ginny again, barely noticing the whispers in the crowd start up with renewed vigour. She raised an eyebrow in mock innocence and Harry huffed, resting his head on her shoulder in an attempt to shield himself from the curious younger students craning their necks to watch him escape. Slowly and painfully.

Ginny pushed him away and smiled genuinely. "Shall I go get him, then?" Harry couldn't help but smile back, her support calming him as he anticipated the storm.

"_him_?" Ron gaped at him now, voice small and his paleness steadily increasing. Hermione shot him an accusing glare and lead him toward a nearby bench, whispering soothing words into his ear as he struggled to breathe. Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Common room?"

"Probably." Harry offered her a wry smile.

She turned with a flourish and set off toward the staircase.

* * *

><p>"– and we didn't get back together after the war!"<p>

Harry was now engaged in a heated conversation with Ron, much to Hermione's chagrin. He'd probably spent a good half an hour trying to explain to his redheaded friend that _no,_he wasn't dating Ginny, _no_, he didn't plan to in the future and _yes,_ he was seeing a certain _male_ student. He was exhausted and short-tempered, knowing that if Ginny wasn't back soon they'd start fighting in the middle of the hallway.

"Mate, you can't just give up on her–"

"I did not just _give __up_ on her–"

"You left her for the war! Leading her on–"

"I was no–"

"Trouble in paradise, Potter?" A voice drawled. Harry stopped dead, words swallowed.

Ron recovered faster than he did. "Shove off, Malfoy!" The blond took a step back and Ron quickly realised he'd put himself under the mistletoe as well, unable to reach him. "Come back here!" Ron was snarling, but Draco moved behind Harry and planted himself there. They settled into an uncomfortable silence.

Ginny stood off to the side, watching Harry expectantly. She inclined her head toward Draco and Harry was blushing furiously again, playing with his scarf and delaying the inevitable.

One of the girls in the crowd fainted unexpectedly and Harry cried out, "Oh, for heaven's sake!"

"Draco?" He turned to look at him warily.

He was smirking as he matched Harry's gaze, arms crossed.

"Draco..." Harry tried again, softer and more pleading. He was _tired_, dammit!

"I did warn you about this happening, Potter." He continued to regard Harry with folded arms, walking around to face him properly.

"Yes, but–"

"And I did warn you that there would be people watching." Draco gestured vaguely to the group of people gathered, all leaning forward to listen in on the exchange. He moved in closer and Harry tensed up, angling himself away.

Draco reached up and took Harry's glasses off and he gulped. "You can't be serious, Draco."

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

If he thought about it, his gray eyes seemed to be a lot closer than he expected. His brain began to panic as they closed, and he willed himself to close his eyes as well. He was all too aware of Ron standing just a couple of metres away and the crowd of girls and as Draco moved in, he decided that he really didn't care.

Gathering up whatever dignity he had left, Harry leant forward and met him halfway. He felt an arm wrap around his waist as Draco kissed him gently and the tension flowed out as he slowly moved his hand up to cup his cheek, stroking along his jaw softly. His lips parted and his tongue sought Draco's, sweet and familiar. Harry moved his hands up to run fingers through the soft hair–

And then someone burst into tears. They broke apart guiltily, smiling sheepishly at each other. Harry also decided then he quite liked the gobsmacked expressions over the predatory grins on the girls' faces as the crowd began to disperse rapidly. Ginny remained standing where she was, calmly offering him a proud smile and a thumbs-up as he grinned at her.

He moved around Draco– infinitely relieved to find he could– and faced Ron, whose jaw seemed to be permanently connected with the floor. He opened his mouth, but Hermione beat him to it.

"He used to be a Death Eater!" she blurted.

"Really," Harry replied sardonically. "I hadn't noticed."

"Harry, you can't possibly be–"

"Hermione," he gave her a warning look. "The war is over. Let it go"

"He's got you under some kind of–"

"Granger, I can assure you there's nothing magical about my methods," Draco added from behind him, resting his chin on Harry's shoulder. He felt a blush creeping up, but stood his ground as Ron came back in full force as well.

"But mate, it's _Malfoy_," he whined out. "You know, weasels-and-mudbloods Malfoy?"

Harry turned to look at Draco pointedly. He sighed. "I'm sorry for that," he mumbled out. Harry dug his elbow into Draco's ribs and received a glare, but continued on. "I'm afraid I was a right git to you both."

He looked back at Harry, who nodded, giving him a pleased smile. Hermione and Ron were staring. Draco cleared his throat and took Harry's hand, glancing at his watch.

"Well, it seems about time for our match, doesn't it?" he asked. Harry laughed. "Is it?" he asked innocently, allowing Draco to lead him down the corridor.

Once they were out of sight, Harry pulled him into an alcove and Draco looked over, exasperated. "What is it?"

Harry rose up to kiss him quickly and settled down again, pulling Draco into a hug and resting his head against his shoulder. Draco put an arm around his shoulders, a little shocked. "Harry?"

"It's going to be _hell_ tomorrow."

He snorted. "Of course it is. Chosen One and all that."

There was a short silence and they stayed like that, listening to the sounds of carols echoing through the hallways. He felt Harry's heartbeat quicken and tightened his grip, reassuring him.

"Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"It's okay." He started to rub circles on his back.

"Funny you should say that," Harry's voice came, muffled.

"Granger and Weasley are due to murder me any minute now, you know."

Harry made a non-committal noise of complaint. Draco chuckled.

"Draco?"

"Mm."

"Merry Christ–"

"Mate, if you're going to snog, at least put up a decent silencing charm." Ron poked his head in and stuck his tongue out.

Harry returned the gesture, feeling like a five-year-old. Draco was snickering and Harry nudged him. He pointed up above Ron's head.

"Weasley, we've got to go," Draco said hurriedly, pulling Harry along.

"You're not taking..." Ron trailed off as he realised he was glued to the floor. An innocent leaf fell into his eyes.

Harry and Draco ran as fast as they could.


End file.
